A Letter for My Son. 

Today marks the 5th year of the birth of my forever baby boy , A'isy Zafran. I couldn’t believe that he has grown up this fast. Looking back at how he has developed and grown to be a boy that is active, smart, funny and caring. I am amazed by his intellectual and cognitive thinking and skills. 

I remembered so well as it was yesterday that the day I held you 1st time in my arms, it was love at 1st sight and I have never felt so much love for someone, not even your Papa can compare the love I felt for you.

Yes, there are times that he acts like a baby, just to get attention from me but at times he acts as if he is older than his age. Is it because he had adjusted himself as a big brother with responsibility to take care of himself and his sister? 

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I think maybe there are times that I neglected his need while he was growing up with his baby sister but to others when they see me with him, they’ll say I am too lenient and smothering him with too much love instead of his baby sister. Hmmmmm I don't know 😓

But whatever it is, A’isy Zafran my boy. Mama writing this blog post is for you to know that no matter what people say and judge. You are my baby. You are my 1st born. You will always have that special place in my heart. I know how it feels being the eldest and I do not wish you to feel and experience the things I had to endure during my childhood. 

I will always shower you with love and care about you but with limitation and respect. I will not spoil you until you do not know to appreciate and respect others. I want you to be the best, humbled human being you can be in life. 


I know that sometimes Mama’s sickness can be a crazy ride in some days and you have to face and endure my demons but deep down inside I am crying and yelling at myself for being mean to you for things that are petty sometimes. I am sorry, my dear son. I am trying my best to control myself. 

You and A’isya are the only thing that makes me alive. I am forever grateful for your existence in my turbulent life. May Allah give me great strength and protect us from harm and bad things in life.


On your special day, I wish and pray for the very best in the world that Allah created and gave it to you with open arms. I pray that Allah protects you and blesses you in whatever you’ll endeavour in the future. I will always support whatever you want to be in life and may you be the greatest person in the world. 

Sorry that you couldn’t celebrate your birthday with your friends at school but at least you celebrated with your close family. Do know that you are LOVED by many people.


Happy 5th birthday My Love. 

Grow Healthy, Strong , Smart and Silly .

I love you with all my heart, body and soul. You are my Rainbow !


Your Beautiful but Wacko Mama Monsta. 

 Be nice, Be respectful and Be responsible.

Zazasters a.k.a MamaMonsta👻